Getting all Yelp-tastic

Us Brits are renowned for our stiff upper lip, taking things on the chin and not wanting to make a fuss, but we're also known as "whinging pommes" and when we feel we've been wronged, especially by poor service or bad attitude, we sure like to whinge about it - to anyone who'll listen!...though often we don't mention anything at the time. We'll eat a bad meal at a restaurant, feel cheated, grumble amongst ourselves, scoff at the bill and yet still chirp up with a polite "it was fine, thanks" if asked if everything was ok. We like to complain, we're just not always good at dealing with it at the time.

I speak from personal experience, including having been a Tour Guide for british tourists who feigned everything was going splendidly during their holiday, only to find myself ambushed by a sit-in at Reception the last night of the holiday, when it came time to settle the bill for any extras. Suddenly there'd be tales of woe from just about everyone, bitching and snarling, grumbling and growling - "The leaflet said 'All inclusive' wine and beer, how was I supposed to know that doesn't include premium scotch?" or "I didn't have hot water when I showered this morning, I want a full refund for my entire stay!" (oh yes, I kid you not.) or "the snack-bar food was dreadful but we ate it (every day) anyway. We're not paying for any of it and you're not going to make us." And many....many...similar tales of woe. Admittedly, as their Tour Guide in the Maldive Islands, it was hard to be too sympathetic to some of the namby-pamby whining because seriously, they had chosen to vacation in what was otherwise a 3rd world destination (and believe me, as gorgeous as it was, it wasn't nearly the exclusive top-notch 'ooooh, celebrities stay here' destination that it has become these days). The limitations on fresh, fruit veg and general abundance of choices in the menu might be down to the fact a) you're in a 3rd world country b) in the middle of the frikkin' Indian Ocean, where all they have are beaten up small boats (dohnis) to spend hours, navigating among a myriad of treacherous coral reefs etc., going from one place to another and c) many of those items aren't even available on any of the actual Maldive Islands anywhere - location, location, location! You can hardly fly baguettes in from Paris and any shipped-in fresh fruit/veg would surely spoil after days in-transit from wherevertheheckacrosstheocean.

Ah yes, I remember it well. And the irony was that, of my German, Austrian and Swiss clients - normally known for being demanding, having high expectations and insisting on Alles being in Ordnung, they were the ones who were easiest to please. As one of them even told me (after listening to a Brit bitch and snarl at me about the rain or something), "You know, if I'd wanted a holiday where everything is perfect and top-notch, I could quite easily have just spent one week in my front garden and one week in the back!" That, for me, summed it up perfectly.

As for the French guests I looked after.....they could be terribly fiesty (once surrounding me like a pack of hungry hounds around a fox after enduring a particularly rough boat crossing from the airport to the resort) but once they screamed, shouted and gesticulated it out of their system, everything was fine. They didn't harbour an unspoken grudge and secretly plot their evil vengeance like many of the Brits I encountered.

So what's my point? Well, a couple of years ago, after terrible service at a suburban nail spa (not my personal choice - it was for a friend's 40th) and a funky downtown hair salon, whose seriously overgrown ego was in desperate need of a trim, I started posting my feedback on such places/experiences on the canadian version of Yelp - which, in the words of Wikipedia, is a website that provides specialized search capabilities and provides information about businesses in a given area using address or postal code information. Each paid business listing contains a filtered 5-point rating, filtered reviews from other site visitors, and details such as the business' address, hours, accessibility and parking.

While I haven't explored every facet of Yelp, it's certainly become an online social forum for finding a bounty of information on places, services etc. - where reviewers can merrily spill the good, the bad and the ugly on just about anything.

Maybe it's because I've been both a whiner and the whinee (especially having worked in the hospitality and service industries), that I generally have two things in mind when I post on Yelp:

1. give credit where credit's due
2. forewarned is forearmed

I'm always pleased to write a glowing review and help boost the reputation of a place where I feel I've had great service, delicious food or just a positive experience overall. Similarly, I think it only fair to comment when things have been less-than-stellar so that other people can be spared the same fiasco and also to make those places really think about the level of service they offer.

What's the old adage? “A satisfied customer will tell one friend, an unhappy customer will tell everybody.” Well, when you post a review on Yelp, for better or worse, you're still telling everybody!

Anyway, here's where you'll find my reviews, most of which have only been posted in the past six months or so, though I've been contributing on a regular basis lately.

I try to be succinct and humourous (though I don't always manage the former), fair and informative. (Oh, and I try not to post when I have PMS. Hehe.) Obviously there's also a certain amount of personal taste and preferences in anyone's review - we can't ALL like the same things, that'd just be tedious. Plus, as a vegetarian my postings are limited to the non-meat corner of the menu. And while I haven't written copious amounts (yet), I'm actually quite enjoying writing these things, well I'm just enjoying writing more in general.

What's more, in response to some of my reviews, I've actually been contacted by the place I've posted about and been offered amends or apologies. Such as, in the case of my review and subsequent update about Rain Hair Salon, being thanked for my update and offered a discount next time I go in, should I wish to return to the stylist I had a 'misunderstanding' with earlier this year. (I.e. She accidentally misunderstood that 2 inches off the length of my hair didn't secretly mean 2" plus another 5" just for shits 'n' giggles.)

Interestingly enough, Wikipedia also adds the following about some of the reviews posted on Yelp: Throughout much of its history, Yelp Inc. has been the focus of criticism from some of its business clients who have alleged that Yelp Inc. manipulates its website, user reviews based on that business' participation in Yelp's advertising programs. Yelp Inc. denies this and has expressed dissatisfaction with business owners who have solicited reviews from friends and associates or paid for "fake" reviews

Indeed, I can definitely say that a couple of the reviews for Vancouver's new bar/eatery "The August Jack" (which opened just a few short months ago) definitely seem to be case-in-point for the above. They're just drooling with an awkward abundance of enthusiasm that seems a little too over-the-top, if you know what I mean. And trust me, I pass the place frequently enough to notice that, of its sparse clientele, no-one is dancing on the cheesy chairs or tables gushing about how incredibly wonderful it all is. Or maybe I just haven't timed it right.

I wonder who'll be next on my list......