Manifesting the voice of Beep

In preparation for my recent trip across the pond, I realized I must have accidentally left my old faithful travel alarm back at my sister-in-law's place in Alberta a couple of months ago. I decided (being thrifty n'all) to buy one off Ebay for $6 as opposed to a $20 clock at the store.

Oddly enough, expecting all travel alarms are created equal (aren't they?), I was somewhat disgruntled to find I couldn't actually figure out how to operate the damn thing. 'It's just a travel alarm, these things are pretty self-explanatory at the best of times,' I thought. Assuming lack of coffee to be the problem, I returned from the kitchen fully armed and ready to take on my Ebay travel alarm. Alas, after 10 minutes of prodding, poking, (cursing) and sporadic beeping, it was obvious I was getting nowhere.

I confess I'm not one for reading instructions and tech manuals (there must be a thousand possibilities on my latest Nikon that I'm still blissfully unaware of) but it soon became my last resort and when I opened up the little sheet of paper, the problem immediately became evident.....

Suddenly the light went on and with a heavenly 'aaaaaahhhhhh' it all became blatantly clear .....'But of course, silly me - I was forgetting to establish the beep voice manifestation. How on earth was I expecting to exergue the voice of Beep without first tacitly recognizing reply the homogulous junior key mode secondses? Stupid! Stupid!'

Yup, even as a linguist this little gem still takes 'lost in translation' to a whole new level :-) Although I have to say, it was definitely worth the $6 + free shipping just for the priceless entertainment value!

Anyhoooo, you might be impressed (or perhaps somewhat concerned) to know, that I did actually figure out how to otamically wire ascend cents and arbitrarily establish pure zero beep voice punctuation. I suspect you can even get medication for it.