Weighing up Tamoxifen, 1 year in.

 'Twould appear I've unwittingly succumbed to one of the possible side-effects of Tamoxifen - memory loss - since I was convinced I didn't start taking it until Dec. 16th last year and was getting ready to post a 1-year update, however, in referring back to my blog post last year, my anniversary was actually November 16. Doh! But then, how would you know if you're suffering memory loss anyway, since you can't remember what it is you're supposed to have forgotten? Hmmmm.

So here I am, one year down with four more to go and, while I don't want to speak too soon, I'd have to say so far, so good - up to this point anyway (mostly). From the list of possible side-effects I’ve really only noticed two or three; the struggle to maintain my weight, some joint aches/pains and the fact my PMS symptoms (especially irritability) seem to kick in a lot sooner each month. 

Weight: Weight gain seems to be the thing most people comment on with regard to tamoxifen and the thought niggles at me too, although I actually lost about 10lbs during the first several months. Admittedly I also kicked up my gym workouts in a pre-emptive attempt to combat potential weight-gain, but for a couple of months the pounds just seemed to fall off. I felt great, very healthy and lean, although I did reach a point where my clothes were just about hanging off me. 

Alas, this has definitely turned around, particularly in the last 3 months. While my workouts haven't changed and I’m not eating any more than usual - literally 3 meals a day with perhaps the occasional cracker in-between, and I never eat junk food or pastries - I’m nevertheless noticing my weight is creeping upwards, clothes are getting tighter on me and my thighs have regained an inch compared to where they were in March of this year. It’s incredibly frustrating because, for years and years, I’ve always been so ridiculously disciplined about what I eat, making my own meals for the most part, and equally so about working out at least every other day for 90mins at a time, of which 45mins is ripping up a storm on the cross-trainer.

I know I’m not fat (at 5’5” I’ve generally averaged 130lbs, give or take, for the past 15-20 years thanks to diet and regular exercise) but I'm definitely noticing it's becoming increasingly difficult just to maintain my weight when, by all accounts, I should probably even be losing some. Of course it could simply be down to age/metabolism (being mid-f-f-f-forties after all) but if I’m going to watch the scales creep upwards then I’d really rather be stuffing my face full of muffins, fish ‘n’ chips and chocolates, thank you very much. At least then it’d feel somewhat warranted. Heck, I work with people who are snacking constantly, always eating out and regularly feasting on treats around the office, but they don't seem to gain weight. Waaaahhhhhhhh!!! And if the scales are sneaking upwards now, then I dread to think what havoc a couple of weeks of Christmas goodies might wreak. (I don't often weigh myself other than to keep an eye on things when my clothes are feeling tighter and, for the record, I'm sure I probably sound like I'm making a huge issue out of nothing here but, having been so horribly miserable during a period in my life where I was a good 40lbs heavier, I can't deny I have an inner fear of it happening again and feeling as horrible about myself as I did back then, although honestly, even those feelings were really about much more than just my weight. Either way, it's a part of my life that I have no desire to revisit if I can avoid it.)

Anyway, in desperation, and for the first time ever, I recently surrendered to an advertising ploy that popped up alongside my Facebook page and decided to try a natural health supplement, Garcinia Cambogia, that’s rumoured (having apparently been featured on Dr. Oz) to be the very latest and greatest in weight loss/maintenance, especially when combined with a healthy diet and regular exercise regimen. Errr, yup – that would be me! I'm not necessarily trying to lose weight, but I don't want to watch the pounds pile on either. Basically I already live in a constant state of denying myself what I’d like to eat and sticking with what I should eat instead, and I've exercised regularly most of my life. Anyhow, I’ll write more on this supposedly ‘Dr. Oz recommended miracle diet treatment’ in a separate post but, suffice to say, I’m not all that impressed thus far and if you've been considering it, you might be better advised to save your money.

Joint aches/pains: This probably bothers me moreso at night if anything and I’d blame our mattress except that it’s still relatively new (2 years or so?). The soreness/stiffness is especially noticeable in my hips/bum. For the past few years I’ve had ongoing muscle soreness in my glutes/bum cheeks, to the extent I had to give up running about 2 years ago, and it could even be related to my gym workouts, I guess. (It also doesn’t help when our three adorable cats decide they’re going to snuggle in with us all night and I end up with my legs stuck in one position too long.) Sometimes when I’m working out, I feel like I’ve already done a full workout just 5 mins earlier, everything feels tired and stiff already. 

PMS: Historically I’ve always felt I had it relatively easy when it comes down to that ‘monthly visitor’. Other than a few days of insatiable appetite and craving starchy/sugary things and feeling bloated, depressed and irritable the day of or just a couple of days beforehand, my PMS symptoms have generally been of little consequence. I’ve definitely noticed that changing the past 6 months or more, to the extent I start to feel all the ‘day of’ joys about 10 days ahead of schedule and they last longer too. The main one being waves of extreme irritability, like all my nerves are on edge, my skin feels too tight and I’m about ready to completely blow a gasket. Just wanting to lose it - throw or smash something, violently overturn display racks in a store, shove somebody out of my way or pull their hair. I’m definitely not an angry person and I’ve never been prone to losing my temper or arguing, even if I’ve really wanted to or had every right to. But lately, about 7-10 days before my period, I get intense surges of extreme ‘f*ck this goddamn sh*t all to hell’ pissed-offness gripping my entire body, almost like electricity tensing up every nerve. Especially if I drop something, have yet another battle with unruly coat hangers or can't find something in my closet, drawers or purse - which usually leads to the whole contents being pulled/tipped out and furiously thrown into a pile. Obviously I don’t let this rampage show, unless I’m on my own and I might then scream out a series of expletives as I kick, throw or bash something. Though generally even my so-called ‘angry’ outbursts are actually pretty pathetic on a general scale of ‘losing it’, although it feels frighteningly intense on the inside. To me anyway, ye olde Ms. Eternally Placid Peace-Keeper (for better or worse)!

So there you have it, my first year on tamoxifen and, thankfully, relatively little to report - and not much that can’t simply be put down to age or regular day-to-day stuff anyway. Hard to believe the time has flown by so fast. As long as it’s still doing its highly-praised cancer-fighting job, I can count myself very lucky and very grateful.

Random Photo Friday: Remembering Otto

Today's random photo is dedicated to our beloved and much-missed Otto (aka Mister O), to whom we said goodnight 3 years ago today. So much bratiness and cattitude rolled into such a unique, lovable and extremely handsome brute of a cat. We miss him dearly and talk of him always with fondness and laughter.

Otto perfected the 'pissy-face', despite being so full of love.

He was certainly never backwards about coming forwards and very vocal when he wanted something. He could be downright mischievous, always getting into something he shouldn't, and so impossibly bratty, particularly in the way he tormented Molly - pictured (right) in the stand-off below.

And if Lorne went away overnight, it was pretty-much guaranteed Otto would pee on me just a little to remind me who was boss. In fact, this would have been one of those weekends. Lorne has to go to Whistler Film Festival and that would usually be the weekend I'd put up the Christmas tree and decorations, play christmas tunes or movies, hang with the cats, and have Otto follow my every move, chirping for attention at every opportunity.

When my Mum came out to stay with us for our wedding in 2004, Otto was instantly enamoured, he thought she was the best thing ever and proceeded to follow her around the apartment looking for attention and drooling once he got it (as he often did). He was visibly upset when she left back to England.

Wherever Otto was, you could guarantee he would be up to no good - there was always some mischief and bratishness he'd be getting into - but he was a truly loving, affectionate and incredibly endearing cat all the same and just writing this in his memory has me blubbing over my keyboard as I type.

But you couldn't get mad at him because he was just such a character, he'd make you laugh at the same time you were trying to tell him off. Any time we talk of him we end up laughing at his antics - including the time, days after Lorne and I moved in together, when Otto - still trying to settle into the new situation - jumped from his hiding place on top of the fridge-freezer, right onto my head! I literally had a cat on my head, claws gently sinking into my temples as I wore him like a hat, with what I can only imagine was a priceless look of shock and utter disbelief on my face. Oh my.

Yup, we still miss you Otto, you handsome and wonderfully loveable brute! Forever in our hearts!

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh

And talk of me as if I were beside you. 

I loved You so—‘twas heaven here with you.

(Isla Paschal Richardson)

Otto (1991 - Dec. 6-2010) and a big part of my life since 2001.

And breathe........again.

WAHOOOOOOOO!!!! You know it's a good day when you find out the breast cancer you and your sister both had, does not appear to be gene related* or a gene mutation. Turns out it was purely one of life's crappier coincidences! Now that's fantastic news in my book - for me, for Vicky and for my 9 year-old niece, Bronwyn!

Wow! That's the biggest sigh of relief I've breathed since last year's results that my cancer was very small, early stage and, more importantly, had not spread to my lymph nodes!

I am so unbelievably grateful for such amazing news, like a nagging weight of 'what if' has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm sure Vicky's elated too - not just for her (and me) but for Bronwyn, because the opposite outcome would have serious implications for all of us and is certainly not a conversation I can imagine any woman would want to have with her daughter.

So YAY! Wahoo! And thank flippin' goodness for that!!!!  :-) Amen!

And...breathe.............


*This is based on gene testing that was centered on Vicky and also incorporated my medical records re breast cancer etc. Initial indications were hopeful that, since we had slightly different types of ductal carcinoma - hers was estrogen receptor negative (ER-) whereas mine was positive (ER+) - that it was unlikely to be gene related, but until you get the final news, you can't help wondering all the same.

Random Photo Friday: Open Your Eyes - Fur is Dead!

These poor traumatized dogs are now the 'decorative' trim
on someone's coat, gloves, boots and purse. Maybe yours?

"We call them dumb animals, and so they are,
for they cannot tell us how they feel, 
but they do not suffer less because they have no words." 

Anna Seawell (Author of Black Beauty)

Sadly today's heartbreaking photo* isn't random at all. This pathetic image is merely a glimpse into a barbaric and truly revolting story that is happening right now, across the world, and especially in China - where there are no regulations on animal welfare and cruelty within the fur industry is rampant. At this time of year, the evidence is all around me - so many people willingly wearing fur on their coats, hats, gloves, boots, purses, sweaters, scarves - you name it, chances are, some poor animal died for it!

Few things in life make me feel simultaneously repulsed, infuriated, upset, exasperated and depressed as when I witness somebody wearing fur, oblivious - or wanton ignorance - of the unimaginable suffering that went into creating the 'fashion' items with which they choose to adorn themselves. When I see it, I can't help but visualize the horror-story that has already played out behind the scenes. There might as well be blood all over it, because that's what I see. Even my own mother always proclaimed, "All I've ever wanted is a fur coat", as if by rights she should have one and if a man truly loved her, he'd buy her one. I have never understood that. The very idea horrified me as a child and still turns my stomach to this day.

I find it increasingly difficult not to actually ask, "Do you have any idea of the atrocious suffering involved in creating that (obnoxious) fur trim on your coat?" or, "If you knew what those poor animals have gone through simply to decorate your boots, would you still feel the same about what you're wearing?" A few days ago I stood behind a woman at the local pet store who was doting over her very beautiful german shepherd, Stella.....meanwhile the hood of her coat was trimmed with the fluffed-up shreds of a fellow dog or cat. How do these people fail to draw the line? How is Stella any different to the animals so hideously tortured for that damn fur trim? I just want to scream in anger - and I want to cry for feeling powerless to stop this. So many times I've thought of buying a fur coat at a thrift store, dousing it in thick, red paint and wandering through downtown Vancouver, or Richmond. I want to make people see the absurd and disgusting reality and stand up AGAINST it! It's absolutely unacceptable to treat other living beings this way. Who the hell do we think we are??? I'm ashamed to be part of the same f*cked-up race that inflicts such heinous acts of cruelty.

Puppies have the softer fur that people love :-(

So many different animals die simply for the luxury of their fur (because it looks better on us than it does on them?) But, what if it was your pet dog or cat? Even the Humane Society confirms, "the primary use of dog and cat fur is not for full-length fur coats, but for fur-trim parkas, gloves, hats, toys, and other accessories. Fur-covered animal figurines also frequently use dog and cat fur.....In Canada, there are no labeling requirements for fur garments. Thus, it is entirely possible for cat and dog fur to be sold in this country, without anyone finding out." In other words, it's all perfectly legal in Canada! Shame on you Canada!!! But let's face it, what do you expect from a country that still includes clubbing to death more than a quarter million defenceless seal pups on its national calendar of events? Why would they find any fault with other aspects of this despicable industry? Canada was largely founded on the fur trade and I'm astonished and dismayed that attitudes here haven't changed - which makes me proud to be from the UK, where fur farms and the like were banned long ago!

In China, such is the excessive popularity of fur products that, to keep up with the increasing demand, millions of domestic pets are actually stolen each year and shipped in horrendously overcrowded crates to fur farms where they're kept in absolute squalor before being ruthlessly slaughtered and frequently skinned alive. Read the report by PETA on the Chinese fur industry - although other countries are far from innocent - and this brutality is being inflicted on many more animals besides cats and dogs.

Many of these cats are stolen and still wearing

collars. Ruthlessly crammed into these small

cages, they await a despicably cruel fate which

will see their pelts torn off and used for 'fashion'.

These aren't random photos at all and that in itself breaks my heart. Sadly there are many such places where these tragic images are a daily occurrence - just another day at the office. But, believe it or not, I don't want this post to be full of graphic images, because I don't want anyone who might happen upon this, to simply turn away without hearing what I'm desperately trying to say on behalf of those poor animals who simply cannot speak for themselves. Maybe you have pets at home - would you wear them too?

If you've read this far, then you know you have at least one ounce of compassion in your heart, so I'm not going to repeat all the disturbing details of the sadistic and heartless atrocities. Instead, I'd like to offer some food for thought from a few people/agencies who are doing everything they can to ask you to please look, think and see the truth of just what goes on and take a firm stand against it! And, since the more graphic images are what turn most people away, one advertising agency, Ogilvy & Mather, has recently released an award-winning campaign for PETA that takes a different approach to educating people. It's especially targeted towards Asian buyers who, as a whole, are the world's largest consumers and exporters of fur products. Take a look for yourself at this extraordinary and unique approach:

I'd also like to share this incredible award-winning documentary, called "Witness" by Tribeofheart.org which details - with humour and heartfelt compassion - the story of Eddie Lama, who confesses he never really cared much for animals and frequently tormented them himself when he was younger - until a few days spent looking after a friend's cat changed his whole perspective. Eddie soon begins a one-man personal crusade to educate others and brings an endearing message of hope that we can all do our part to stop this sickening cruelty:

I couldn't embed the video here so please use this link:
http://www.tribeofheart.org/sr/sr_witscreeningroom_english.htm

Please take a moment to open your heart and mind and show your compassion. If, by posting this on my pathetic blog, I can change just one person's mind, then I am eternally grateful for that small mercy.

I am literally begging anyone who'll listen, please find it in your heart to open your eyes, educate yourself and teach those around you about the truth. Take a stand against this abhorrent cruelty and refuse to wear, buy or otherwise support any fur products. Together we have the power to bring an end this unnecessary and obscene suffering. There are millions of animals literally dying for our help!

Other informative links:

• www.peta.org
• http://www.hsi.org/world/canada/work/fur/facts/dog_cat_fur.html
• www.furisdead.com
• http://www.furbearerdefenders.com/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_b8Wr2LnrQ
• http://www.respectforanimals.co.uk/home/

*The photo in today's post is not my own - but it is real and it IS happening right now! Are you supporting this violent and pitiful slaughter?

Random Photo Friday: Passenger or Driver?

Life is a journey....sometimes it's okay to be the passenger.

I chose this for today's random photo for two reasons: 1) the beautiful scenery* and 2) because, as I looked at it, I was struck by its literal and metaphoric symbolism of travelling in the passenger seat. I also turned to great-god-google in hope of finding the perfect quote that might sum it up nicely, but to no avail.

In particular this image makes me think of travelling along Life's highway; are you driving or are you simply a passenger? I realize the latter is certainly something I've been guilty of - for better or worse - for the past 18 months, i.e. since losing my job and getting a breast cancer diagnosis all around the same time in Spring of last year.

There's a further element of symbolism to the photo too, because - being English - the picture could appear to be taken from the driver's side. In the UK portion of my life I think I did drive things a little more - but maybe that's because I was so much younger, I felt I had more opportunities and often set out to make them happen. Certainly it's what pushed me to go to university, work abroad and move countries.

I know I used to be the driver. I used to participate, make decisions, take chances and do things. (Well, not all the time maybe, or I'd be a well-known voice-over artist by now, but that's another story.) But for most things I've always taken control and actively participated.....haven't I?

On the other hand, riding in the passenger seat for a while hasn't necessarily been a bad thing either, given the mixed and somewhat unpredictable circumstances of the past 18 months; health-wise (for a little while) and particularly work-wise (still). In fact it's the first time I've ever really allowed myself to simply hand over the steering, give up the controls and just go with the flow. A more religious person might say I decided to "Let go and let God." Maybe I did, subconsciously. I know I reached a point where things were shifting and changing direction in ways that were, to some degree, beyond my control. I have no regrets that I moved over to the passenger seat, since I wasn't sure where the ride would even take me. And in that time I've opened my eyes a little more to all that's around me and the importance of people that I really love and care about. I've soaked up the scenery, so to speak, and I believe I needed that break to regroup and accept the things that truly matter to me and how I prefer to live my life.

So to me personally, the above photo is reflective of the passenger I've allowed myself to be, the driver I can/want to be, and the realization that the view can - and should - be just as easily enjoyed from either side.

As we rumble towards the end of another year, I'm feeling a need to re-emerge in the New Year. While the rest has been great, it's time to get my sh*t together and get back into the driver's seat. Take back the controls and steer things where I want them to go - no more drifting and being passive. Time to stop being the passenger.


(*I took this picture through the windshield of our much-loved, much-missed campervan when Lorne and I did a bit of a roadtrip through Alberta a couple of years ago. Lorne always prefers to drive (and is a terrible passenger). Driving the van was more his domain than mine so I always got to sit comfortably in the velvet-armchair passenger seat, to leisurely soak up the incredible views or simply drift away in thoughts and daydreams.)

Popping a few more tags

So I've had some reasonable success at ye olde Sally Ann lately but, now that I put the (fairly terrible) Iphone photos here, the stuff I bought looks a tad frumpier than in real life. I probably should've modelled them but I'm useless at trying to shoot a selfie and end up looking all spoon-faced and wide-nosed, so you'll have to trust me on this and use some imagination.

Perhaps my favourite recent purchase is this black bag - or 'purse' as they call them here, only we always called a wallet a purse....except for men, in which case a wallet's a wallet, but a purse is usually a bag. (And so the messed-up anglo-canadian bilingualism continues. Confused? Welcome to my world.)

Since most bags/purses at Sally Ann these days average between $10 and $20 (well, they do in Vancouver anyway - where everything is more expensive), I was pretty chuffed to find this one, which is exactly what I was looking for and in brand new condition, for just $6.99. More importantly, it's not leather either, so it's guilt-free: recycling AND vegetarian. At less than $10 I have to suspect it was a new volunteer pricing things up that day - perhaps the same person who priced this rather fabulous Banana Republic cowl-neck shift dress at $6.99 also. You can't quite tell from the photo but it's actually a lovely autumnal shade of orange which looks fabulous with my chestnut-coloured hair, even if I do say so myself. Plus it's a heavy jersey fabric so, even being sleeveless, it still works for this time of year with a great pair of boots. Yay!


It's actually a small but looks much wider
here. I don't think it makes me look wide. 

And, speaking of boots, I've done alright on that score lately too. After a pretty poopy day at work recently, I went for a little retail therapy and found this rather cute and comfortable pair of faux-suede boots for just $7.99.

Don't you step on my faux-suede shoes

In terms of retail therapy that's about as extravagant it gets for me these days. Admittedly, I've never really been one for lavish purchases even when I'm buying new - I can't handle the overwhelming guilt afterwards. It literally ends up ruining any short-lived buzz that I might have got from the purchase in the first place. So, at that price, the buzz certainly felt a little more smug.

I scored another pair of boots last week - one more black pair to add to my winter collection. They were $19.99 but 20% off and are brand new, super-comfy and I just couldn't resist. Besides, a similar pair I bought last year (for $8 from the SPCA thrift store) are starting to look a little worse for wear, so these are now in line as their imminent replacement.

Mind you, I do think $20 is overpriced at a thrift store for heaven's sake and it's not like they're leather! At the same time I was trying these on, an old man was arguing with the cashier about a pair of snow boots he wanted that were apparently $49.99 - he basically said what we've all been thinking, "That's ridiculous - they're not even new. You're a thrift store. You get given this stuff - for FREE." They wouldn't even let him have a discount other than the 10% senior's discount (which the cashier at the West 4th store offered me recently. "Yikes, do I look rough today?" I asked him, jokingly. "No, but you're often in here so I thought I'd give you a discount." Poor guy looked a tad embarrassed actually and I felt a pang of guilt for my unavoidable sarcasm.)

And, still on the subject of footwear, these shoes go with just about all my clothes, are perfect for work and cost me all of about.....ooooh, $9.

Another item that unfortunately looks frumpier here than it does in real life is this gorgeous Esprit silk skirt that was $7.99. It's light, hangs nicely and can be dressed up or down (trust me, I tried it out with much of my wardrobe already). I'm not usually big on bold patterns, although I've definitely come a long way since my pattern-free, monochromatic days of 99% navy in my closet. At first glance, I wondered if it might look a little too wall-paper-y (a very british fear, I'm sure) but it actually looks really nice, especially with boots.

And, with the wetter colder weather upon us, I found the perfect coat to replace the longer coat I've worn the past few years,which suddenly seemed to look incredibly dated with its wide flappy collar. I already have several coats but quickly realized I was missing one that's long enough to keep my legs dry. This long grey, wool coat cost me $29.99 and is a lot more stylish than it looks in this picture - and warm!

And a good coat deserves a cute hat.....or three. Seems I've found a style that suits me. Only problem is, when I wear a hat, my hair looks totally flat and greasy once I take it off. Do people who wear cool hats simply keep them on all day to avoid the chip-pan look, removing them only in the scrutiny-free safety of their own home?

Same style and same price - $2.99

And there you have it, another round of thrifty shopping. It's odd though, while I obviously feel a certain amount of satisfaction buying nice things at low prices and recycling as opposed to lining the pockets of the major retailers, I nevertheless hide most things I buy second-hand from Lorne. I don't want to come across as cheap or scabby but seriously, you can find a lot of good stuff at thrift stores. Not always, but often. It also explains why the local Salvation Army stores I go to are always incredibly busy, so I'm certainly not on my own! Heck, I've personally given a lot of good quality items to thrift stores too, including brand new clothes that were perhaps a bad decision at the time and I ended up never actually wearing them. 

So as I pass the jingling-bells of the kind volunteers collecting for the Salvation Army's Christmas Kettle Campaign this year, I can feel comfortable that I've been generously donating my fair share all year long.

Random Photo Friday: Lights Out

Today's random photograph is an older one, taken in 2008 during a photo safari for the 'Available Light' photography class I was taking at Focal Point Photography School in Vancouver (which sadly closed its doors last year after 39 years).

The more I look at this image, the more I like the elements within it. The natural separation in thirds between the metal panels, the shaded overhang and the pink neons. The diverse linear shapes, tone, width and direction. The contrasting colours, the juxtaposition of neon light tubes versus bulbs, the gathering of raindrops on the pink neons and the varied phases of life - and death - among the five lightbulbs.

I took it shooting upwards into the canopy over the entrance to the Granville 7 cinema which, at the time, was the last movie theatre left on downtown Vancouver's once thriving “theatre row” on Granville Street. Sadly, it too closed its doors last year as the Street's gentrification into an over-priced, slut-fest and drunken gong show of an "entertainment district" nears completion.

Too bad the lights have been extinguished on yet another of Vancouver's diminishing number of historical landmarks. I've no idea what's in line to replace it (or has done already) - likely a Subway, Starbucks or Vancouver's gazillionth nail spa - can you say money-laundering?

Cynical? Moi? Perish the thought.

Bah Humbug!

First, before I start on my bah humbug, "why does Christmas have to start at Halloween" rant, let me at least bring a feel-good moment to the 'season' albeit even this, being not quite mid-November, is still way too early in my book.

This is a wonderful commercial currently airing in the UK for John Lewis' department store. My cousin, Lisa, posted it on Facebook last weekend and - call me a complete softy and insatiable sucker for animals - it quite literally nearly made me cry. It's all things cute and adorable but watch out for that little hare, he'll tug hard at your heartstrings for sure.

Did you make it through without a lump in your throat? I didn't and it's taken me almost a week to dare watch it again for fear I'd start bawling. When did I become so hyper-emotional? (Though I can't deny, animals have always held that power over me.)

Anyhoo, back to business on the whole WTF with all this in-your-face overload on seasonal/festive/holiday/Christmas (yes, I dared say the C-word) stuff already?! Some of it started even before Halloween and certainly by Nov. 1st things kicked off in earnest. Cafes and hair salons had their decorations up by the strike of midnight, because we all know it's important to get coffee and a haircut on top of your wish list and hope to beat the stampede of Christmas shoppers. Horrendously cheesy 'holiday' pop songs, are being dutifully pumped out by the likes of Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Mariah Carey et al and drilled into your brain from every angle of every store. Despite the pile of complaints this time last year about Shoppers Drug Mart, who burst out the Christmas tunes Nov. 1st, to the point they had no choice but to pull the music and wait...., it seems the holiday fever nevertheless begins the split second you utter your last "trick or treat". Same thing with TV - on your marks....get set.....November 1st - GO!!!!!

Decorations have popped up everywhere, seemingly overnight and even in some homes around our neighbourhood! What the....? And last night the Number 7 bus pulled up downtown fully decked out as Rudolph! I kid you not - lights, antlers, bells, even a ginormous red flashing nose. My first thought was, "Oh you've got to be kidding me! It's November, people! Seriously?!" Then I checked myself thinking, "oh well, it's for the kids I guess" but that was quickly followed up with, "But seriously, even kids shouldn't be brain-washed into believing Christmas Day is imminent." What's with all this rampant festive horniness? Why does everything have to be so over-commercialized and compounded by a relentless push to get us all in the shops, believing we'd better get swept up into the over-zealous frenzy to buy, buy, buy like our lives depend on it? I've already lost count of the number of people I've overheard or who've asked me directly if I'm ready/have any plans for the holidays. No I bloody-well do not! And why?, Because it's NOVEMBER! - Why not ask me again in a month!!! (And, I'll resist the urge to get on my annual high horse about the annoyingly creative ways that North Americans desperately skirt around the word "Christmas" like it's a dirty swear word, but you can sing out the words Hanukkah, Ramadan, Diwali etc. till your heart's content. I'm happy to acknowledge everyone else's holidays or festive season - I wouldn't be the slightest bit offended if someone told me they were celebrating Hanukkah so why, when it comes to Christmas that I grew up with, am I told I should find a different word to be more inclusive? Bah flippin' humbug, I say!

Perhaps part of what chokes me up about the heart-warming commercial above is that it hits on my inner child who desperately just wants Christmas to be Christmas again. I don't remember thinking about Christmas as a child until December 1st, when the excruciating wait throughout the next 24 days seemed to take for-EV-ERRRR!

Suffice to say, this time of year - every year without fail (even after 18 years living in Canada) - always makes me so terribly nostalgic for England, Europe and my family. Memories of being far too stuffed full of Quality Street, sprawled on the living room carpet and watching The Wizard of Oz, Sound of Music or Oliver Twist, for the umpteenth time - while desperately gagging for a pocket of non-smokey air beneath the fog of my parents, my nanna and Anders and any other visitors puffing away on cigarette after cigarette. In Anders' case it was cigars. I've never minded the smell (and even smoke one myself from time to time) but boy could they smog up a room like a 5-alarm fire. I miss the glass decorations that 'mysteriously' developed holes in them the year my older brother Terry got his hands on an air rifle. I miss the balloons that my dad always hung around the living room, where there would inevitably be one group made of two round balloons and a long thin one in-between. He'd stand, hands on hips, then point to it asking, "Who did that? Trini, did you do that? That's rude that is."

Christmas was also the one time of year where we had fruit in the house. Which is incredibly odd when you think about it, why wouldn't we have fruit any other time? "Because you lot get too greedy with it", my mum would say. In actual fact it was mostly Terry who devoured the fruit but we all got blamed (precious golden-boy Terry who could do no wrong).

My Aunty Pat and Uncle Roy ran a fruit/veg stall for years on Freeman Street Market - which seems nicer in the website photos than it ever has in real life. In fact my cousin, Tony, still runs the stall with his Dad but now in Cleethorpes Market Place, where we bumped into them during our visit last summer. Every Christmas my mum would order a massive box of fruit and veggies from them and we couldn't wait to dive in, especially on the satsumas. But we'd have to be careful - if we ate the fruit too fast we were greedy buggers, if we didn't eat it fast enough, it'd begin to spoil and there'd be threats of, "I'm not gonna bother with fruit next year if no bugger's going to eat it, it's too expensive to just throw away". Either way we were wrong.

Haha, I just remembered another festivus treat was After Eight mints, which I used to surreptitiously slide from their dark paper envelope carefully leaving the envelope in the box, so you could hardly tell how many had been eaten. Then I'd get a wave of nerves as my mum went to get one and discovered most were envelopes with no mint. That was usually a good time to offer up another cup of coffee and leave the room.

Anyway, I could think of so many more treasured snippets from Christmasses past but it's really too early and the point of this post (not wanting to run on too long) was to let off some steam about why oh why are we being shoved aboard the high-speed holiday bandwaggon earlier and earlier each year and with increasing vehemence? What need is there for laundromats, coffee shops, MacDonald's and furniture stores to ramp up the Christmas rush?  Heck, Starbucks is even advertising 'Buy one holiday coffee, get one free' and even Home Depot started prior to Halloween with their Fallidays campaign to get people thinking about home reno's as part of their Thanksgiving/Holiday preparations.

At this rate we'll be painting eggs and watching for the Easter Bunny by the weekend.

Random Photo Friday: Lest We Forget

Enough said.


In Remembrance

This magnificent poppy was one of just a handful that grow wild on the corner of West 11th Avenue and Yukon Street in Vancouver. They're stunning, vibrant and grow so large that there's only a small window of opportunity to photograph them in all their radiant splendour before their heavy heads start to hang or get beaten down by rain.

I currently have this image as my profile picture on Facebook and many friends have asked to use it to do the same. I'd like to hope it goes even a small way towards honouring the bitter-sweet glory of those who gave their lives.

Random Photo Friday: Zombie Firefighter and Princess

While the photos aren't quite so 'random', seeing as Halloween was just yesterday, I had to post these pics of my adorable nephew, River and niece, Bronwyn - the zombie firefighter and princess. I stopped by on my way home last night to drop them off some spooky treats and to see their costumes before Vicky and Mike took them trick or treating.

Unfortunately my Iphone doesn't quite do them justice but they still look pretty ghoulish if not strangely lovable all at the same time.

Zombie fire-fighter to the....rescue?

Zombie Princess excited to
"scare all the little kids", apparently.

Note the scissors 'stabbed' into Bronwyn's hip? We brought her back a Spoonman scissor headgear thingy from our last trip to Portland in July, although (always thinking a little differently) Bronwyn preferred to stick it at her hip, which worked frighteningly well too. I also like how the flash gives her devious eyes that extra-spooky glow.